no part of my life has been allowed to rest easy for more than a few moments at a time. whether interrupted by actual tragedy or the learned behavior of waiting for the other shoe to drop anxiety is ready to come in at any time to destroy those times and ruin them forever.

since childhood i’ve been closely watched by it and kept under its thumb. from terrible sickness, death, loneliness, etc. i am forced to believe that there is no other kind of life for me but one of constant unease and motion.

it’s late, can’t sleep regardless of how much sleeping dope i take. it’s tedious and absurd. chewed through 2 packs of gum. blood sugar low - didn’t want to consume more calories but the choice between calories or the implications of low blood sugar make for easy decisions.

new hard drive for photo work/video work on aurora. wonder what the point is. haven’t painted in a while - why have more paintings sit molding in the basement?

i’m rewriting everything.

somewhere in my mind, i knew the above image existed before last night - however - it’s still a surprise to me.

the image is from the Zelda II: The Adventure of Link and i never owned the game until now - having bought one of those dandy nostalgia machines -> NES Classic

it’s odd. until last night the only time i played this game was with my elementary school friend erik. he had all the video games and i was pretty jealous of that.

for blogging i use hugo it’s speedy, static and command line oriented.

this, however, is a carry over from the past before i pushed myself into the efficient world of emacs and all that and now i find myself working more and more into the world of org which has led me to the world of ox-hugo.

basically, the beauty of this is that you can set up your entire blog in an org file and call it a day. the ease of this is destroyed by the need to tag and add properties to all the things.